Idiocratic Legislation (Or There’s No Such Thing as Equal Work)

In “Idiocracy,” the most average Joe in the U.S. armed forces is selected for a top-secret hibernation experiment. It’s supposed to last only one year, but human error intervenes, and Joe is left to slumber on. He wakes up 500 years later to find that in the intervening centuries, natural selection has favored the stupid, who have multiplied indiscriminately. By being equally stupid, presumably their idiotic workplaces pay them equally.

Carey Smith | Founding Contrarian

New York City just made headlines for its new law requiring companies to include minimum and maximum pay ranges for posted job openings. It would be fair to say that the rollout wasn’t exactly a triumph. Citigroup, for example, posted a pay range of $0 to $2 million for several jobs, later blaming it on a “computer glitch.” I prefer to think not.

Ranges of $106,000 to $241,000 for a general counsel opening and $50,000 to $145,000 for a reporter position were both called out online for not being in good faith. But it seems entirely possible that a cub reporter, as they used to be called, could be hired straight out of school at a salary of $50,000, while a venerable colleague with decades of experience might deserve the higher figure.

Take it from someone who’s hired thousands of people: Few things are as frustrating as determining fair salaries. Over the years, I’ve routinely struggled with the issue and finally decided just to pay the salary the new hire requested. The caveat being the higher the salary, the higher the job demands. I once paid a marketing VP the $400,000 he requested then fired him six weeks later after he proved himself an ass unworthy of his exalted paycheck.

Another time I aspired to achieve pay equity on the production floor. A crazy thought in hindsight. After a few weeks working with HR on the problem, I just threw my hands up and gave everyone a raise.

Sometimes fair and equal are synonymous, but not always, because no two people do the same job equally well. It shouldn’t need to be pointed out that some humans are brighter, more hard-working, and simply better at their jobs than others, and they deserve to be paid more, just like the best pro athletes. The universal dumbing down pictured in “Idiocracy” hasn’t happened yet, but surely we want to avoid this condition as long as possible.

The one thing laws like this accomplish is they make it more difficult for employers to hire. That’s especially true when a company is simply looking for talented people with initiative and ability — as we often do — then figure out how their talents are best used once they’re hired. Employees like that are invaluable, so it would make perfect sense to post a broad salary range to match their expectations.

Some complain that without pay transparency laws there are cases in which job seekers go through the rigmarole of interviews only to find the financial offer lacking. If people require certain salaries, they should put them on their resumes or ask upfront in interviews. Companies shouldn’t be forced to provide the range when listing an opening.

New York City’s law came into effect the day after Halloween, but a more appropriate debut might have been April Fool’s Day, because really, who are they kidding? It comes with penalties up to $250,000, which means that the best minds are already coming up with workarounds.